And even miles away from your home, reality never stops chasing you. Things this year have drastically changed for me, and I’m hoping really hard that it’s all for the better. Maybe few years back I would have never envisioned my current life, and I guess that is what should give me the greatest push. Most importantly this year has been about tawakkul - the inner trust that every step I take and have been taking is in trust of His plans for me. I take each step with Bismillah, holding imaan with every InshAllah I hope to reach.
I’m going to be brutally honest. It is amazingly blissful having facebook, gmail and pretty much every other social media blocked here in China.
As soon as I access fb with my VPN I shut it down. This trip is peaceful because for once in my life I’m not surrounded by some fake community I have to always immerse myself in. The local Chinese interns here are so sweet and nice. They’re down-to-earth, genuine people who don’t want anything in return for their kindness. It makes you realise and re-evaluate the space you have. I’m not saying everyone back at home is pretentious. Hell, I do miss my family and my close friends, but majority of the life there is based on this dying dunya. Superficiality at its worst.
I am a SIW. I am capable of all. I am capable of getting through this all. I didn’t think being so far and alone from my home would be this difficult but I know that this will without a doubt help me get through everything in the future. You have to be brave learning to be a foreigner in a country that has no tie with who you are. If I am a foreigner at home, then what makes this any more difficult. I really think you need to be brave when everyday your mind traces its way back to a place that isn’t yours anymore. You have to be brave when you’re no longer in your comforts, when you face everyday with nothing but your senses in a dark, dimmed cave. You have to be brave being somewhere you’d never thought you’d be.
You have to be brave when change decides to join your journey.